Doodle-Dictator

I can feel it. All the subtle emotion. All of the moving and indescribable feelings. The ones that we try to hide. Why are so many of us alone? Why do we hide ourselves from others? So many reach out with their broken and mangled hands to only request a simple request, only to be cast aside by the shallow and unfeeling. It's so hard to find the people that truly care. That look beyond your face and can see the beauty in your eyes, to envision your heart and your soul in the glow of your subtle mannerisms. To really understand and welcome you with open compassionate arms willing to embrace you, regardless of how you think of yourself. Someone does care, and always will. No matter what leap of faith they must jump. No matter what mountain they must climb. No matter what part of themselves they must sacrifice. I will always be there for you. The pure emotion that they feel burns a hole in their soul, just wanting to know that you're okay. That you don't feel alone. That you aren't being manipulated by the empty perverse individuals in the world. It's hard to see how much some care, but they will always have a searing pain whenever you aren't okay. Whenever you do feel alone. Whenever you are being manipulated. Is it too much to care as so? To really relinquish so much of yourself to someone in trust and open yourself to them? I'd rip down all the paper walls that separate us, just to know that you're there. Just to know that you're okay. It's unbearable to see you cry. The thought alone brings on tears that could melt steel, all on their own. To witness the agony off being alone manifests it in all who look. But to watch in person, and be there, is far more than to be an onlooker from miles away. Don't fret in misery, or let it overtake you. Fight it every damn step of the way. You aren't alone, no matter how lonely you feel when you are by yourself on a cloudy day. Or at night, the days you feel like you need to cry, just to get out the feeling. With all the changes around you, subtle and unseen, along with the blunt and obvious, a few things wont change. One of them is how much I care. Distance will not ruin mutual feelings. It will not end what we share. In the end, I will be your everlasting friend. No matter what happens, no matter how far I am, no matter how long it's been since we've talked… I will always truly care. And I will always miss your smile, and how it warms my heart. You have the soul of an angel. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You're beautiful inside and out, and I honestly hope that more people can see it as clearly as I can.

I've torn out my soul, unraveling what it is tormented by, in its warped bliss. I know not what I experience, but fear that I am losing myself, in myself. Ask not what it means, but I am facing a wall, far greater than any hurdle I have ever climbed, that is daunting beyond compare. I hope to get to its peak, and see what I desire on the other side. If necessary, rip the wall down, and tear a path to my own joviality. I shall not, as the path of force is dark, and I dare not tread it. I feel better now that I translated my emotions into this…..document, but I fear that it may not be enough to describe, nay, capture the emotions I feel.

This is a pain which is mirrored by happiness, the searing of the pain echoed by the fragmented glee that remains. It is hard to bear alone, but I have managed so far. The agony is beyond measure, of which I have never experienced before in my life. I outstretch my arms, in hope that I am embraced, but fears that my mangled and warped form will only be cast aside without a glance, and that I will be damned to this....prison of my own creation. I limit myself, and damn myself to this small cage. I may be shown some affection, some care….but I do not reach past the barrier that I have made. I need someone to help me. Help me tear the bars of my jail, and let me know that another cares. It is far to run, even longer to walk, but agony in years-length to feel.

Thy hands are grasping air, desperate to land on a surface that is as feeling. To hold a reflection of oneself, and to share the pain. Nay, not merely give, but receive. It hurts to feel alone, but it is far worse than to feel alone with another. In truth, you share each other. Bear the happiness of one another, and spread out every damned moment of joy. It is far better to be in this state, than to fret, and cry, and turn inwards. Reach out, as I am there. Do not be afraid of what is much like yourself. Become familiar with what may have indeed eluded you all your life. Dare not let it slip from your grasp, lest it fall into a pit of its own, forever trapped like thy own self loathing and pain.

Look around, and see who has been there. Do not judge based on their outward façade, as it is merely hiding their own pain. The mask of this design is familiar to you, is it not? Fear nothing in the regard of self happiness. You have carried so much, for so long, by yourself. You deserve someone to help you feel better. Someone to help take the pain away. They are not so much unlike you, but they are glad to share the strength they have. They'd walk to the damned ends of the earth, if need be. Observe what is before you, and do not cast aside what is real. Weaken the hold of your own sadness. Open your heart to the light of others. See what they have done, and what they shall do, for you. Let them be your sunshine.